Tuesday, October 30, 2012

World's Over Journal Jane's Heart

       Dear Charles, the whole world changed seemingly right before our eyes. One moment, that seems a distant memory clouded by a thick low lying for - which I have no desire to alleviate - we were stumbling on the brink of a final world war; huddled together in the Bahamut quadruped crab tank with the rest of the family members, whose names I can no longer recall. Neither Priscilla or I can remember the name of her... Well, I am her mother now, but we'll get to that.

Where the rest of our tank unit ended up, who knows, I'm sure they had their chance to survive in flight and peace or to perpetuate the battle scene we were speeding towards, a land of ruin. I don't want to remember the stone towers that lay fallen, the ash that covers the dead from our own weapons, a destruction we conceived nearly brought all the earth into eternal silent mourning.

A month we've walked this beautiful earth. My darling Charles, have you seen with your brilliant green eyes the way this majestic forest lives? From the smallest insects stammering about in the underbrush and dust to the Trolls who've fashioned a city out of the mountain side, everyone is at peace. There are several tribes of Immortal Races in the valley, from elves and angels to trolls, goblin and daemons, all attempting to fashion what the human race could not, harmony.

Where once my heart cared only of our day to day survival on our homestead of reasonable comfort and stability of life, I've discovered that my soul longs to attach itself to this majestic and mysterious this world and the peoples who live within it. No hiding or running away, Freya, Toki, Kensori they are our friends, all of whom Priscilla has taken a fast friendship with, going so far as to even learn a great majority of their language, even in such a short time as a few days. Shall we tear down our bubble, our tree house, I think not. But the prejudice of the old world, illegitimate perceptions of the unknown, we must break down and set ourselves free of. Priscilla deserves a world where harmony reigns, by choice it will exist; Lived by those who stand vigilant in virtue.

I want us to make a vow, provided you agree,  before the Troll Tribe that we will care for Priscilla as our own, that she is to be our daughter until the end of all things or time itself. I know you haven't spent much time with Priscilla, but I sense that your heart is changing as well. Though we are apart and there is no end in sight of our departure adventures, I know we shall see one another again. That you are a stronger and wiser man than ever, please don't forget our future is here and now. The past is not ours to hold onto, though we are in part responsible for the travesties, remember today and hold not onto yesterday.

I love you! Shall write again when I have time, Priscilla, Toki and I are heading with the royal court to the fountain before the gates, apparently late last night a small band of undead warriors arrived and wait patiently in the vale for the Trolls to send an envoy. Priscilla is rather excited to meet a lich for the first time. I just hope that my being creeped out doesn't show on my face and in my mannerisms around them. I must learn to give everyone of any race their own chance, for the Trolls have been lovely hosts! We shall see what types this band of undead warriors are.

In earnest anticipation of,
       Without you...

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Charles & Ravice

I meandered slowly back through the labyrinth of shoji screens several moments later, only after pondering over the words of the young mouse. She had spoken with such a bitter passion, contempt and rage in her eyes mingled with pain and remorse.  Could it be that  Jane and I had been destined to cause some unfathomable ill fortune, bringing on a  tale of woe fated news, that we were unaware of?

I admit that when I fired the laser to fell the tree that would be our home, I had not thought for a moment of the world outside of Bahamut's Tomb. The plan was to obtain freedom and a new home in a freshly fallen tree, a stump to carve and call our own.  It had never crossed my mind that there world be thousands of sentient mouselings could have lost their lives when I pulled the trigger. I pulled the trigger...

My head swam in a torrent of doubt as awe overcame me. 'Had my actions caused the deaths of so many,' the though riddled itself over in my mind, the depths of its sorrow hit my soul hard and I staggered. Opening my eyes a moment later, I found myself leaning against the a wooden beam between two shoji screens. How long I stood there silent in the deepest sense of awe, trapped in the immense imagery of inescapable woes, I knew not.

When at long last I looked up, Ravice's eyes were upon me. Gazing down from her perch on Allyndran's shoulder, in the kitchen, as they were preparing something near the stove. A fiery rage emanated from Ravice as her eyes pierced the depths of me, as I stood there, a weak and frail man hugging the wall for fear I should falling, overcome with the grief of truth, aftermath of a caused calamity. Was it remorse for the dead or merely sympathy for my own plight in the moment I recognized a terrible mistake? Even at such a young age, the mouseling knew it was the later.

I closed my eyes to avert her gaze, desiring a moment of reprieve. It seemed but a moments blink, but when I opened them again Ravice stood before me in the door frame of the kitchen at the end of the hall, the fire still blazing in her eyes.

'Arise from the ashes of regret, shame and sorrow,' the black rodent seethed, the fur on the back of her neck, forearms and feet was standing on end, 'from a tomb you escaped but how many did you create in your first endeavour in our world? Can you tell me, man from a distant age of war, greed and pride? You made an escape without venturing forth from the beast's womb to see the world you had awoken into. An utter disregard for life, just like all the others from your era, selfish.' As she finished she turned on her heels, stomped one foot down hard and leapt in a great bounds from the kitchen. When she had made the door, Ravice stopped to gaze over her shoulders at me. After pulling her cloak's red cowl over her head she crossed her arms underneath its crimson sleeves.

Whatever I had done, Ravice's dispute with me and subsequently Allyndrans neglect to acknowledge it, had made me aware the scars I had created. For Allyndran stood silent and forlorn throughout the interaction between the mouse and I. I found it a struggle to speak, to find the words to say in the aftermath...For how can anyone reconscile the unimaginable, the horror of a holocaust.

'I can't imag...' I began though my voice was faint with weakness, but Ravice would not tolerate a response from me, she turn her gaze to the town beyond the threshold wherein she stood, as if I were a foul smelling corpse. 'I'm sorry' the words came out as a faint whisper taken in the wind towards the mouseling who had stood a valiant heroine ignoring her defeated foe. 'How many lost their lives because of me,' the question was directed at no one in particular, a riddle sent into the open air. There was no response from Ravice who took a great bounding leap down the pathway through the garden that lead into the village. There she stopped once more and stood silent. 'Ask Ally, if she can forgive you,' Ravice said with stern wisdom beyond her years, 'If she can then maybe I can as well. For her pain is greatest of all.'

With that she escaped my view beyond a bush of blue roses, venturing down the pathway and into the bustling town. With that I was left alone with Allyndran, where Edgarory was I knew not. I had many questions and had no the strength of will to beseech Allyndran of the woe I had caused her. She was silent and still as a statue, solitude clung  to the air like a low lying fog, it felt as if I were utterly alone with Death, in a room that swam before my eyes as tears unsought swam down my face... Tears of sorrow.

In all hopes of returning,
                                Charles with Edgarory